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I Think Satan Likes Your Mom - это одна из самых отвратительных групп на Земле. Но их вокалист... Такой милашка.
~ Оскар Уайльд про I Think Satan Likes Your Mom
Тексты песен и сами участники группы представляют собой угрозу для человечества.
~ Буш про I Think Satan Likes Your Mom
Ну был я в ITSLYM. Ну и чё? Я же тогда был невменяемым, таблетки жрал. С тех пор мне значительно полегчало, и я перешёл на кокаин... ой, в смысле, на кофеин.
~ Майк Паттон про I Think Satan Likes Your Mom
ты летящий вдаль безууууууумный ангел
~ Бухой Кипелыч про вокалиста I Think Satan Likes Your Mom
Так, где мой дробовик? Чёрт! куда я его положил?!!!
~ Юрий Башмет про I Think Satan Likes Your Mom
I Think Satan Likes Your Mom
Старый логотип ITSLYM
Новый логотип ITSLYM
BushwidITSLYM.jpg
Единственный постоянный участник ITSLYM', вокалист и ритм-гитарист Джордж У Буш
Статус Распалась (и разлагается, а воняет-то как...)
Стиль tr00 Metal

Краткая история[править]

thumb|left|The original lineup of ITSLYM, left to right, Les Claypool, Danny Carey, George W. Bush, and Dave Mustaine I Think Satan Likes Your Mom труЪ митал группа, образованная Джорджем Бушем в 1985. After one of his many businesses fell through - most notably his Emu porn venture - Bush also failed with his band and it ended up becoming one of the saddest excuses for "tr00" metal ever. ITSLYM is said by all it's previous members to be a bad mark on their careers just so Bush could keep living comfortably, which, with all of daddy's money he would have anyway.

Early Years[править]

Bush was quick to hire ex-Metallica lead guitarist and then-Megadeth frontman Dave Mustaine on lead guitar. He accomplished his semi-impossible feat by promising that the band would sell more albums than Metallica, and that he would also supply Dave with a year supply of China White and heroin (which Mustaine proceeded to expire in a matter of 20 minutes). Future Primus front man/bassist Les Claypool and future Tool drummer Danny Carey joined in 1985 and they proceeded to record an album of tr00 Thrash Metal that was obviously ripping off Metallica and Slayer. By 1986, they released their first full-length album - AAAAAA!. The album completely flopped and everyone hated it. The single "I Have Flies On My Testicles (Sucking Away At My Semen)" is considered among the top 7 worst songs of all time. The album sold about 8 1/2 copies - one for each band member and their mother (it is not very widely known that George W. Bush's mother has a siamese twin attached to her left breast - she named it Tipper Gore). Mustaine was consistently ridiculed by Metallica fans (which forced him to leave the band, citing racism). Carey left about a day later citing that he actually listened to the full album for the first time and claimed he'd "rather be in a band where our most popular song is about sex in prison."

thumb|left|A rare picture of Dubya with Les Claypool circa 1985 playing the song "The Four Mechanix"

Between The Early Years And The Final Years[править]

thumb|right|ITSLYM lineup circa 1987 (from l to r): Steve Vai, Scott Ian, George Bush, and Dimebag Darrell. Bush was not going to give up, he hired Scott Ian of Anthrax to replace Mustaine (Note: Ian is a rhythm guitarist, and Bush failed to realize this until the next album required solos. Because neither he or Ian could do them, they proceeded to fart on a snare drum for 37 minutes in lieu of soloing.), and Steve Vai to replace Carey (Note: Vai kicks ass on guitar, but as evidenced by the album's final recording, EQing can only go so far...). They released their Metallica "homage", Master Of Drunkards, in 1987, which featured the single, the title track, which was a whopping 10 minutes in length. Bush did not shorten the video or single for radio play, as he threatened that he would eventually begin working for any communication companies that did so. The album, however was an even bigger flop than the first one (Claypool's mother didn't even buy it this time). It also featured the unpopular song "Eyes Falling Apart", which featured Mike Patton on lead vocals and groin rubbing. Claypool quit immediately after the recording of the album, citing that he was visited by Tommy the Cat, who instructed him to form a band that would play a song about him that would later be released as a single, so he formed Primus. He was replaced by Dimebag Darrell, (a guitarist, who naturally was used to using a pick, when Bush was asked why he chose a pick bassist he responded "there's a difference?").

In 1988 Bush, impressed by Patton's groin rubbing skills, announced that Patton would become a permanent member of ITSLYM (there were rumors that Bush had a homosexual affair with Patton as well). However, a few weeks later, Faith No More noted they had been impressed by Patton's groin rubbing skills and wanted him to join them, Bush lost a court battle with FNM over Patton later that day, and Patton joined Faith No More (with whom he rubbed his groin on microphones until 1998, and continues to do that in his solo career to this day). Bush eventually thought of disbanding ITSLYM, but then found a new gay lover in a then-18-year-old Fred Durst. Bush found that Durst was even better at groin rubbing than Patton, and added him to the group in 1989.

thumb|left|In a rare photo, Bush, Patton and Ian are together in 2005 talking about a possible reunion with Patton (who has since become Lord of the Dance)

The Durst Era/Final Years (In The 80's)[править]

Dimebag Darell quit soon after Durst joined, citing an interest in free form jazz, he formed Pantera. He was replaced by Oscar Wilde, who recorded with the band on their last album in over 10 years, The Propaganda Album. The album was such a commercial flop that the only single from the album "Poop In Your Hat Bitch" was distributed to all major radio stations for use as coasters.

Almost immediately after the release of Propaganda..., Ian, Vai, and Wilde all quit on the same day. ITSLYM continued for a few days (and performing at the 1989 New Years Eve Concert in New York City with a temporary live lineup that included Kerry King, Flea, and Lars Ulrich, who claimed he was not paid enough to play the show. But Durst and Bush both woke up on January 1, 1990 with bad hangovers, sore dicks and severe cases of genital warts, so they decided to call the band quits. Durst went on to form a band even crappier than I Think Satan Likes Your Mom, Limp Bizkit, while Bush worked for many failed businesses before being crowned the first Nazi dictator of the US by his father.

Reunion (Oh Crap)[править]

thumb|right|Ex bassist-Penn Jillette, part of the no talent "reunited" lineup Unfortunately, in late 2005, with Bush's new job as president obviously going under, Bush announced he was going to reunite I Think Satan Likes Your Mom with Durst, new lead guitarist Tom Cruise (formerly of Prophets of Scientology), new drummer (as well as his sex slave) Antonio Banderas, and new bassist Penn Jillette. They began touring in November, and are expected to have a new album We Made This Album Because George & Fred Needed Money, out by February 2006. Wait, it's already сентябрь 2019! Damn! Some things have changed since then...

So they released the new album and...it bombed. Yes we know that every single previous ITSLYM album bombed, but this one bombed BIG TIME! Why? Well one every past ITSLYM album there was at least one member who actually had talent, but on this album, the people didn't even know how to play their instruments, so...Bush fired all of them!

Under this line-up, the band toured briefly, opening for Steve Miller, Rod Stewart, and Mannfred Mann's Earth Band on the collaborative Monsters of Music Loved by Mothers tour. They also supported Dexy's Midnight Runners at a catastrophic USO Show in Tikrit, Iraq, which ended in a massive, drunken game of Boggle.

What Happened Next? Yet Another New Lineup...[править]

Unfortunately, now completely bankrupt, Bush decided to continue the band. In an interview with your mom in March, Bush revealed that the new ITSLYM lineup was the "tr00est lineup yet".

Because no living people wanted to play with Bush, he decided to use his father's money to resurrect the corpses of dead musicians. The new lineup includes Bush, former Pantera guitarist Dimebag Darrell on lead guitar (who had previously played in the band...as a bassist), former bassist Metallica Cliff Burton (who, when resurrected, was immediately visited by Lars Ulrich, who claims that Burton owed him money that flew out of the tour bus when he was killed), ex-Led Zeppelin drummer John Bonham, and rapper Tupac Shakur.

Bush has announced that the new ITSLYM album was going to be a death metal album because "I'm playing with a bunch of dead people, hehe, get it? It's funny because it's true!" Dimebag announced that the album was going to be called Black House and was be released some time next year. The very few long time fans the band has had (Bush's parents and his brother Jeb) were excited about the album.

But, in an unexpected turn of events, the new album in production with the "dead" lineup was scrapped. For what reasons, Bush was quoted as saying, "them's a bunch of smelly pansies - I've bought my way into one of the most elite bands ever now, hehe..."

Enter Suicidal Tendencies front man Mike Muir. In one of the least publicized band feuds, Bush claims that Muir tried to tell him that he was old and couldn't write to save Dick Cheney's life (which is true). Bush responded by claiming Weapons of Math Destruction were confusing him and that "Bin-Laden is using his magical brain-ray to try and confuse ol' Dubya... Well I'll tell ya something... It ain't gonna happen!" Muir, completely confused by Bush's inept rambling left confused and Bush, as he does with all other hostile take overs, sent troops to visit Suicidal Tendencies, erected a puppet management system, held a rigged election and became lifelong dictator of Suicidal Tendencies, which he now calls "Dubya's Super Happy Fun Time." The first ITSLYM album with the new lineup, tentatively titled We Are Not A Gang (Really), is currently set to be released next year.

OMMFGZ, REUNION![править]

However, in the middle of the recording of this album, the 4 new members of ITSLYM were skatebaording and they all crashed into each other and they...died...it's very sad, but thats part of life boys & girls, it'll happen to you some day too...

...actually they didn't really die, Bush just made up that story. What really happened was Bush go tierd of them and fired them. Fortunatly, the production of We Are Not A Gang (Really) was not scrapped, as Bush claims he had finished all of his tracks ("I only play two notes just like always", explains Bush). Then, the big news came out...

Bush announced at a press confrence on the Iraq War that ITSLYM will be reuniting with original members Dave Mustaine and Les Claypool, who are helping him finish the new album. Joining them will be Slayer drummer Dave Lombardo, because originally drummer Danny Carey was, according to Bush "too buisy selling out in those un-tr00 posers Tool".

Mustaine and Claypool (un)willingly re-joined the band apparently because Bush bribed them into joining the band, offering to pay them $1,000,000 dollars each "Les and I both need money badly" claimed Mustaine (Claypool shouts in the background "especially me!"), "we aren't going to enjoy this, but we're gonna get payed".

Mustaine, Claypool, and Lombardo are re-recording their predecessors tracks on the upcoming album, which may actually come out next month...stayed tuned...

Members[править]

ITSLYM has had so many members its not even fricken funny, and they've changed more so lately than ever. This graph makes everything easier I guess...

Band Lineup Changes
Years Rhythm Guitar and Vocals Bass Lead Guitar Drums Groin-Rubbing/
Backing Vocals
1985-1986 George W. Bush Les Claypool Dave Mustaine Danny Carey Chuck Norris
1986-1987 George W. Bush Les Claypool Scott Ian Steve Vai none
1987 George W. Bush Dimebag Darrell Scott Ian Steve Vai none
1987-1989 George W. Bush Dimebag Darrell Scott Ian Steve Vai Mike Patton
1989-1990 George W. Bush Oscar Wilde Scott Ian Steve Vai Fred Durst
1990-1990 George W. Bush Flea Kerry King Lars Ulrich Fred Durst
2005-2006 George W. Bush Penn Jillette Tom Cruise Antonio Banderas Fred Durst
2006 George W. Bush Cliff Burton Dimebag Darrell John Bonham Vanilla Ice
2006 George W. Bush Robert Trujillo Rocky George/Mike Clark R.J. Herrera Your Dad
2006 George W. Bush Les Claypool Dave Mustaine Dave Lombardo none

Discography[править]

AAAAAA!
1986's AAAAAA!
1986's AAAAAA!
Year 1986
Album Number 1
Copies Sold
Master of Drunkards
none|240px|1987's Master Of Drunkards1987's Master Of Drunkards
Year 1987
Album Number 2
Copies Sold 7
The Propaganda Album
none|240px|1989's The Propaganda Album1989's The Propaganda Album
Year 1989
Album Number 3
Copies Sold 3
Most Forgettable Hits
none|240px|1992's Most Forgettable Hits1992's Most Forgettable Hits
Year 1992
Album Number 4
Copies Sold 77,563,673
We Made This Album...
none|240px|2006's We Made This Album Because George and Fred Needed Money2006's We Made This Album Because George & Fred Needed Money
Year 2006
Album Number 5
Copies Sold ±1
We Are Not A Gang (Really)
none|240px|2007's We Are Not A Gang (Really)2007's We Are Not A Gang (Really)
Yet to be released
Year 2007
Album Number 6
Copies Sold None
Black House
none|240px|The unreleased Black HouseBlack House
Unreleased
Year -
Album Number -
Copies Sold -

Sample Music Clips[править]

AAAAAA![править]

AAAAAA! (sound clip)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaa
AAAAAAAaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa
AAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaa

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAaa-AAAAAAAAAA!

Master of Drunkards[править]

Last call (WHOA) today
The bar by the bay
I'm the place where you get wasted
Veins that pump with beer
Sucking Everclear
Creating liverous destruction!
Taste me, you won't see
If you need green tea
Medicated to
How I'm killing you

Come stumbling faster!
Come on GET PLASTERED!
Your cash burns faster!
Come on HEAVE MASTER
Master!

Master of Drunkards is throwing up heaves! (barf)
Vomit in toilets, sticking to sleeves
Smelly and...erm...
Just drink some Jager and then you might see
Master!
Heave MASTER!

What the hell am i singing?
Where am i?
Hey!
Why you playing so fast?
My brain hurts.

The Propaganda Album[править]

Saddam Is A Mean Man (sound clip)

We Made This Album Because George & Fred Needed Money[править]

Money Whoring Blues (sound clip)

We Are Not A Gang (Really)[править]

Cheney Didn't Shoot Nobody (sound clip)

Black House[править]

Evil Darkness Rising Emphatically On A Frostbitten Mountaintop From Whence Virgins Are Deflowered And Mutilated (sound clip)

See Also[править]

ITSLYM's official MySpace
AAAAAA!
Anthrax
Antonio Banderas
ASSYLUM
Danny Carey
Dave Mustaine
Fred Durst
George W. Bush
Lars Ulrich
Led Zeppelin
Les Claypool
Master Of Drunkards
Megadeth
Metallica
Mike Patton
Oscar Wilde
Pantera
Penn and Teller
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Slayer
Steve Vai
Suicidal Tendencies
Wildeboys
Tom Cruise